In A Zipcar

New York, NY 10001

Yesterday I felt an incredibly strong cry coming on that needed a very high level of privacy ASAP or things were going to get very uncomfortable.  Luckily I found a Zipcar a few blocks away from me for only 13 dollars an hour and booked it up quick!! It was a mid-size car that had room for 4 friends and 6 suitcases, which I thought was probably a little small for the cry I was about to have, but you take what you can get!!!!!   There was no driving involved, of course, because I couldn’t have that kind of distraction with my huge cry task at hand!!! I just sat in the Zipcar parking lot weeping in the car for exactly one hour and then returned to the world so very refreshed and anew.  The rest of the world can cry in their cars 24/7 while us privacy poor can only dream of something like that. I have to say that dipping into their extreme luxury for an hour was exactly what you would expect: an absolute dream come true!!  Great for your most volatile, extreme cries that nobody should ever see!!!

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Being Surrounded By Huge Pictures of Beautiful Models With Cool Clothes, Hair, and Bodies

Fifth Avenue New York, NY 10001

NOTHING gives you the feeling of unworthiness you need to take your cry from good to great than crying down 5th avenue.  Everywhere you look you get to see a huge photoshopped pictures of people whose clothes and hair and bodies look so good it’s hard to imagine they’ve ever shed a tear!!!!!  Great for the type of cry that is going well but isn’t relaying the fact that you’re never going to measure up to anyones standards hard enough!!! Only take this stroll if you’ve got a few days on your hands to cry it out - after you’ve cried this cry it’s a long journey to recovery of being your ‘kind of okay’ usual self. This cry isn’t for everyone - be sure to cry at your own risk!!!!

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Any Hot Dog Stand

New York, NY 10001

When you’re crying in the city, it can certainly feel like the loneliest place in the whole world. Well at least I used to think this, until I discovered the magic of ordering 2 to 3 hotdogs mid-cry at a hot dog stand and now my life is forever changed. I’ve never felt more taken care of, cared for, and at quite simply home, than when I swing by one of these gems and order up. Sometimes, if I’m feeling extra sad, I’ll order 4-5 pretzels too!!!! Every single stand owner makes you feel like if you weren’t crying, THAT would be weird.  That’s the work of a true genius. As you walk away eating these treats with massive amounts of condiments spilling all over yourself you can’t help but smile-cry:  this is what crying dreams are made of.  A++++!!!!  

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Behind a Dog Walker Walking About 8 Dogs

New York, NY 10001

Yesterday I was having yet another ‘not too sad yet not too happy’ day when all of a sudden I saw a dog walker walking about 8 dogs!!!!!!! I quickly turned and walked behind them for about 15 blocks crying tears of sheer joy over their cuteness and happiness and oh they were just everything!!!!!!! Then I instantly got really really really sad that they all weren’t my pets so I then sobbed in complete despair for about 10 more blocks before I finally got a hold of myself and said goodbye. If you’re lucky to run into something like this get ready for the cry of your life!!!!! The highs are high and the lows are so very low but I will say that I’m a better person and crier today than I was yesterday and those are honestly the only two things that matter in this life. My advice? Follow your heart (and ANY dog you see) - the perfect turbulent cry is always waiting for you there!!!!!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to drop a quick note and thank you all for reading this silly & ridiculous blog.  I started it as a big joke and I thought maybe 7 people would see it max and now we have just reached 15,000 followers and over 200,000 visitors!!!! Whaaat?!?! CRYING IN NUMBERS!!!! 

To anyone who has shared or liked any posts - thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!! It makes me so happy to know there are so many criers and people who think crying a whole bunch is funny out there in the world.  

As always feel free to contact me at cryingnyc@gmail.com or my other ridiculous tumblr: thisinevitablelife.com

Again, thank you.  This has been the most fun and I look forward to keeping more delicious NYC crying spots & tips coming your way!!!!

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Baked By Melissa

784 Lexington Ave, New York, NY 10065

I went in here one night during a street cry to try and make myself feel better with a cupcake! I didn’t realize how small the cupcakes were, so I bought 3 for $3 and left to continue my walk. Unfortunately, I ate all 3 cupcakes within 20 seconds and was left even more sad than I originally was that all the cupcakes were gone so quickly.  I re-entered the store and bought 3 more (red velvet, peanut butter, cookies & cream) with even more tears streaming down my face as I ordered. I repeated this process about 3 more times (red velvet every time, switched the other 2 choices up for variety!!!!!!) until I finally had to force myself to just walk the hell away. Although these cupcakes are absolutely delicious, I would recommend going to somewhere like Crumbs to get yourself the biggest cupcake in the world so that it will actually have a shot at fulfilling your crying cupcake fix. Trust me on this, or you will also have someone in the world who knows that they served you 15 cupcakes in 4 minutes. Do as I say, not as I cry!!!!!!!! 

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LaGuardia Airport

New York, NY 11371

Although it’s a bit of a commute, this is a wonderful place to cry, especially if you’re not flying anywhere!!!!! I like to park myself on a bench outside the American Airlines curbside check-in and really let the tears go!!! If I am flying, I give myself a good 4 hours before every flight no matter where I’m going because I just KNOW I’m going to be weeping and quite frankly I want to enjoy it. Even if I have the smoothest time going through security and my flight is right on time I will still cry the same amount as if everything is going wrong and I am going to miss all of my connections to my sister’s wedding that I am the maid of honor for. I can’t explain it, it’s just a special place that consistently scores off the crying charts!!!! A++++ times a million!

Macy’s Megastore

151 West 34th Street, New York, NY 10001

Oh hell crying yes!!!! This is the mothership!!!!  9 huge floors!! Endless crying nooks!!!!! It’s not a sprint it’s a marathon!!!!  I like to start my cry on the first floor after bypassing the makeup/perfume section and then very slowly make my way up all 9 floors.  I stop on the 4th floor for the half-way up fuel stop (Ben & Jerry’s, Auntie Annie’s pretzels) and then continue on to the top of this crying mountain. Some have said when they get to the very top they see a vision of their life without incessant tears but I have yet to experience this.  Favorite sections: home furnishings, men’s loungewear/robes, kitchen appliances, petites, area rugs, and ladies coats.  Beware of any shoes and sunglasses sections as the sales people can really slow you down/see that you’re crying and that gets sad awkward really quick.  Don’t forget, what goes up must come down, so be sure to save tears for the slow ride down as well!!!!!! A painfully enjoyable cry!!!!!!!

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Staten Island Ferry

New York, NY 07307

Spring day + upper deck + your tears streaming into the river=  a free crying paradise!!!!! This cry is an absolute must. It’s so free and so, so nice.  You may get in a few tourist pictures but so what- you’re a lucky duck riding the best cry in town!!! Nothing can stop your tears now!! Plus, they even offer drinks and refreshments for your intense post-cry thirst and hunger!! It could not be a better crying situation. Get on board and start weeping immediately!!! Oh, and of course, be sure to ride it all day long!!!  A+++++++

Top of the New York Sightseeing Bus When It’s Raining

New York, NY 10001

Great for those days when right when you wake up you just know you’re going to be crying all day! If it luckily happens to be raining on this day - throw on a poncho and get on the NY Sightseeing Bus ASAP!!! Grab yourself a day pass for all day crying fun!! Hardly anyone will be sitting up top with you, so you can really cry it out big and loud! Plus, you can even take a picture of yourself in front of a recognizable tourist attraction to send to your parents and friends!!!  They won’t ever be able to differentiate the painful tears from rain drops they see all over your face so no need to worry.  This kind of cry is a true, authentic gem of an experience that will make you hope everyday is a rainy day!!!!